Things I Hate

1. Men on Match.com who will only date younger women. Why would your old nasty ass think that a younger woman wants your saggy balls.

2. Black balls. No, I don't mean those things that nasty old men on Match.com have, I mean the ones at the beach. It is so unfair that surfing is so frequently and completely banned on Santa Monica beaches. I attribute this atrocity to stupid tourists(another thing I hate).

3. People who can't tell a story. Take a minute and make mental notes of the important points. Make it brief and concise. And most importantly, ask yourself, "Does anyone else even give a fuck?" This answer will usually be no. So just keep your big pie-hole closed.

4. Autism. Unfortunately, I have first hand knowledge and experience with autism as one of my cats is profoundly autistic. He has impaired language development and difficulty expressing his needs, lacks interest in toys, is highly sensitive to external stimulation, retreats into "his own world", has difficulties in abstract thinking, and has delayed development. Despite my efforts to obtain treatment(dolphin assisted therapy and occupational therapy at a minimum) and a free and appropriate education for him, my local school district continues to deny him equal access to an education.

5. Men who make noises at the gym. Shut up! It is disgusting.

6. People who don't pay their own way. It is also not enough to pretend that you are paying your own way because you pay for your entree at dinner. You must also pay for your drink, your tax and your share of the tip, you cheap ass!

7. The Kennedys. This is the most over-rated family on the face of the planet. They are egocentric murderers, rapists and liars. JFK is surely the most over-rated president. He vetoed the Civil Rights Act and brought us closer than ever to nuclear war. And Jackie Kennedy. What a waste of skin. Not a single interesting thing ever came out of that annoying woman's mouth(assuming you could even hear what she was saying half the time). It would seem that her popularity is solely attributed to her wardrobe and her gold-digging.

8. San Francisco. This is the most over-rated city on the face of the planet. It is expensive, lacks parking and the residents think that living there makes them better than everyone else in California. They think that it "feels European". I think that if I want to feel European I will stop bathing and brushing my teeth, never tip and start walking everywhere; I can do all of that right here in LA.

9. Princess Diana. So she shook the hand of a man with HIV. So what. Other than that she served no purpose.

10. Sarah Palin. I didn't know that spawning could be a job qualification.

11. Using the word, "elite" pejoratively.WTF? Since when is it bad to be elite? God forbid that we don't have some retarded hillbilly for president. And "professorial" is a good thing to me too. Why is it wrong to want a smart, educated leader in this country? I don't want a president that would have a beer with me. I want him/her to be way too good to even talk to me!!!

12. Making things more difficult than they are. I like efficiency.

13. Not taking responsibility. If you never take responsibility for something, how can you ever get control over it?

14. Apparently, I also hate Middle America and Alaska. If Sarah Palin is in any way a representation of the people who live in these places(that is per many people in the media that say they are from these places, not per me. I wouldn't really know because I wouldn't be caught dead in either of those horrid places.), "darn right", I don't want anything to do with them!